Toad's List

One morning Toad sat in bed.

“I have many things to do,” he said. “I will write them down on a list so that I can remember them.”

Toad wrote on a piece of paper:

A List of things to do today

Then he wrote:

Wake up

“I have done that,” said Toad, and he crossed out:

Wake up

Then Toad wrote other things on the paper.

Drink Breakfast (two cans of Budweiser)

Get Dressed (check pants for smell)

Go to Frog’s House (see if he’s got any beer)

Walk with Frog to pub

Drink lunch (Guinness)

Play some drinking games with Frog

Drink supper (beer and chasers)

Have blackout

“There,” said Toad. “Now my day is all written down.”

He got out of bed and drank two cans of Budweiser. Then Toad crossed out:

Drink Breakfast (two cans of Budweiser)

Toad took his clothes out of the closet, carefully smelling his pants, and put on the cleanest dirty pair he could find. Then he crossed out:

Get Dressed (check pants for smell)

Toad put the list in his pocket. He opened the door and walked out into the morning.

Soon Toad was at Frog’s house. Toad knocked at the door.

“Hello,” said Frog.

“Look at my list of things to do,” said Toad.

“Oh,” said Frog, “that is very nice.”

Toad said, “My list tells me to inquire if you have any beer”

“Not so loud,” said Frog. “Dreadful hangover, you know. Beer’s in the fridge,” Frog said. “Get one for me while you’re at it.”

Toad said, “Okay.”

Frog said, “Hair of the dog, you know.”

Toad fetched the beers, took out his list, and crossed out:

Go to Frog’s House (see if he’s got any beer)

“Now we can walk to the pub,” said Toad.

“Just let me find my cleanest dirty pants,” said Frog.

Frog and Toad walked to the pub. Then Toad took the list from his pocket again. He crossed out:

Walk with Frog to pub

Frog and Toad were very thirsty and drank lots of lunch. Then they played some drinking games. The rules of one game were that if you didn’t know the answer to a question you had to take a drink.

Frog asked a question. Toad didn’t know the answer. So Toad took a drink.

Then Toad asked a question. Frog didn’t know the answer. So Frog took a drink.

This went on until it was the hour for supper.

By this time they were both very thirsty and ordered up a very large supper of beer and chasers.

Toad took out his list and crossed out:

Drink lunch (Guinness)

Play some drinking games with Frog

Drink supper (beer and chasers)

Just then there was a strong wind as someone opened the pub doors. It blew the list out of Toad’s hand. The list blew high up in the air.

“Help,” cried Toad. “My list is blowing away. What will I do without my list?”

“Hurry,” said Frog. “We will run and catch it.”

“But I can’t move,” cried Toad.

“Neither can I,” cried Frog.

“I cannot remember any of the things that were on my list of things to do. I will just have to sit here and do nothing,” said Toad.

Toad sat and did nothing.

Frog sat with him.

After a while, Toad said, “What were we talking about?”

“I can’t remember,” said Frog. “I think I was having a blackout.”

“That was the last thing on my list!” said Toad. Toad found a pen and wrote on the palm of his hand:

Blackout

The he crossed out:

Blackout

“There,” said Toad. “Now my day is all crossed out!”

“I am glad,” said Frog.

Then Frog went back to his blackout. And Toad had a blackout, too.