What They Did

What did they do with the drunken sailor?

They slung him in the long boat until he was sober; kept him there and made him bale her; pulled out the plug and wet him over; took him, shook him, tried to wake him; triced him up a running bowline; gave him a taste of the bosun’s rope end; gave him a dose of salt and water; stuck on his back a mustard plaster; shaved his belly with a rusty razor; sent him up the crow’s nest till he fell down; tied him to the taffrail when she was yardarm under; put him in the scuppers with a hosepipe on him; soaked him in oil till he sprouted flippers; put him in the guard room till he was sober; put him in bed with the captain’s daughter; took the Baby and called it Bo’sun; turned him over and drove him windward; put him in the scuffs until the horse bit on him; and heaved him by the leg and with a rung consoled him. That’s what they did with the drunken sailor.

Well, they did have a lot of time on their hands. And the captain’s daughter, should that sound the odd one out, was usually made of knotted thongs of cotton cord and designed to slash the skin with its nine tails.